It is my "Dia-versary". Most people are confused that I seem to celebrate it or treat it like a birthday or anniversary. It was such a life altering diagnosis, so most people and parents remember their diagnosis or when their children were diagnosed. I have now been living with T1D for so long, I vaguely remember what life was like without it.
This is something that when you get it, you feel some sense of relief having an answer to why you felt terrible and it is a little exciting teaching people about your new life, but it is also a shock. It is a slap in the face of "this is your life now" and you don't have a choice. The diagnosis isn't a cure; it is just a wake-up call of how you will live the rest of your life. It is a day you realize your life will never ever be the same as it was. Then the excitement goes away. It is something you think about, manage, and try to control every day of your life. You think about it every minute or every hour. This is just something that doesn't go away.
I've said this 2984753 times in my life and will say it 4385729837 more times: This is an autoimmune disease, NOT caused by diet or exercise (or lack of). Type 1 and Type 2 are NOT the same disease.
I spend all day every day trying to keep my blood sugar range between 80-130mg/dl. If I miscount the carbohydrates (common in potlucks or if I don't lick my plate clean), if my body doesn't absorb the insulin as well, if I am dehydrated, sick, have an infection or menstruating my blood sugar will go too high. Then I try to correct the high. If my body is too active, if I didn't eat all my food, I have too much insulin from something else (like food or correction from a high), or my hormones are out of whack my blood sugar goes too low.
If I am high I feel achy, thirsty, dehydrated, short of breath, and light headed.
If I am low then get shaky, dizzy, weak, tired, sweaty, have slurred speech and have blurred vision. I actually have "hypoglycemic unawareness" so I usually don't feel these symptoms until I am really really low.
It sucks. I try to stay optimistic, but holy moly this disease is a pain in my butt. It is exhausting and I am over it. I would love for it to be gone!
I have had a lot of ups and downs over the years (both with emotions and my actual blood sugar). I feel defeated and burnt out and then other days I feel like the poster child for type 1 diabetes. These emotions always come and go. Today I feel content, but tomorrow I could feel different. This is a guilt ridden disease, and it will always have its ups and downs.
I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a beautiful and healthy baby boy. I am healthy considering all things. I live a normal life despite the constant pricks, tapes, pokes, needles, measuring, and counting. I've made it 17 years! That is a long time to live with some! I hope I live to the day until I can say I have "Type None" and I am a "Former Type 1 Diabetic".
|Maddux and I at the Walk to Cure Diabetes in 2013|
|I was low at Target. I am drinking chocolate milk and Kris wouldn't let me buy these Lion King leggings.|
Here is a little boy I found on Youtube, this is his "one day with Type Diabetes" video. There are so many of these videos. I know what it is like living with T1D, but I love watching videos of everyone else!